Losing The Race Against Time

This was a hairy week for me-- I had a major takehome midterm (40% of my final grade) due in another class, too many shifts at work (thanks, coworkers, for choosing this week to have babies and/or go to South Africa), and a heavy mileage training week--and it did not end well.

Over the past few weeks, I've realized I've bitten off more than I can chew by trying to go back to school full time, work (almost) full time and train for a marathon. I'm exhausted all the time, unenthusiastic about everything and too afraid to ask for help. With the cold weather over the past week, SAD hit me especially hard and I just couldn't deal.

Although I got some comfort in knowing that I scored very high (okay, let me enjoy my one triumph this week, perfectly) on the midterm for this class, and know that I am pulling in good marks in the labs and (hopefully) on this sLOG, I'm starting to feel pretty lost when it comes to CSC148.

I've just handed in a drastically incomplete file for A2 part 1, and although I feel like I understand the concept of the assignment, and think I could work things out given more time, I'm seriously doubting my prospects for success in this course. Over the course of the past two assignments, I have spend copious amounts of time trying to puzzle out the answers to questions the assignment didn't even pose. For example, in working on A2, I spent a valuable chunk of time trying to work out function that would convert a string representation of a regex to a nested list (I was unsuccessful in this venture). I think this might have been helpful, but less than necessary for part 1.

I've also come to the realization that maybe I can't do this alone-- perhaps I shouldn't try to be so self-sufficient, but instead actually work with a partner on these things. If only I wasn't so busy with work and training an commuting and a class schedule full of conflicts with office hours, I might have time to commit to meeting with other students or a TA.

My biggest realization this week is that something in my life has got to give--but I'm genuinely unsure what it will be. I need my job to pay for my classes,  I need my classes to get me into grad school, and I need to run because it (paradoxically) makes it easier for me to breathe most days. Marathon training seems like to obvious answer, but my training time is precious to me--it saves my sanity and might be the only thing standing between me and my next meltdown.

So really, my biggest lesson this coming week will be figuring out how to ask for help.

(And on a lighter note, of all this days to spring forward and lose an hour, there couldn't have been a worse one than today.)